About Me Tag

Paola tagged me and it sounds like fun. So here goes.

1. 10 years ago:


We were living in Clearfield, Utah. I had just given birth to my tenth baby - Chrystal Kayli born at 10 at night, weighed 10 pounds, 10 ounces. That year, Chani was still at home and would turn 18 in September, Ben would be 16 in September, Chamrie was 14, Chiya 12, Nathan 10, Ryan 7, Cheyanne 5, Chalae would turn 3 three weeks after Chrystal's birth. That was the only year that I attended the Young Women's General Meeting with all three of my older girls. By the next meeting, Chani would be an adult. I sat in the meeting and suddenly began to cry. As lists of things were mentioned in the talks, things that we needed to be doing, I realized that I was sitting with my three daughters and there wasn't a single thing one of them would have to say to themselves, "Oh, we don't do that, my parents never did that...." It was the most remarkable feeling to know, while not perfect, we were doing what we needed to to give our children the best chance at eternity.

2. Five Things on my To-Do List today (well, lets just say to-do list because I'm recovering from surgery and I am not allowed ANYTHING on my to-do list TODAY

a. Finish polishing my novel, Enoch Sons, so the final printing can happen.
b. Finish writing my second novel, Awakening, so I can move into the polishing stage.
c. Finish polishing Becoming a Mother and Teacher of Noble Children so I can complete the publishing process.
d. Start writing my portion of the book, When the Experts Go to Bed, There's Always Mom. If I get my non-expert part written, maybe my partner will be able to do the expert portion! And continue contemplating my future book, "How to Home School and Not Have Weird Kids!" (I'm waiting to see if my children remain "Not Weird!"
e. Find a way to clean, declutter, and enjoy the things I'm NOT supposed to do while recuperating from surgery and pleurisy!

3. Snacks I enjoy.

Home made soft semi-sweet chocolate chip cookies without nuts.
Brownies, especially with peppermint ice cream and hot fudge

4. What I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire:

a. Invest 50-75% to pay for taxes, and to increase our family's financial resources.

Besides the general of pay bills and donations and charities, I'd:

b. Pay off homes, and buy more homes for students
c. Get an excellent and safe and not overpriced car for every adult in our family
d. Plan and execute three big family trips each year. Disneyland is my personal favorite.
e. Finish landscaping and remodeling our Family Home, including building and stocking an emergency center for our family (which will eventually number ten families by the time my youngest marries.)
f. For fun...well...everything done with my family is for fun, so there you have it.

5. Name five places I have lived.

a. Born in Oregon (born in the Portland hospital, but lived in Salem)
b. San Diego from age two until 39 years except for Neil's school
c, Kansas City, Jackson County, Missouri for over three years while Neil was in school. Chamrie and Ben born there. I say that the only way I'll ever go back to Jackson County's miserable wet heat is by specific request of church leaders!
d. Clearfield, Utah for 5 years.
e. Cedar City, Utah for 8 years. I'm grateful every single day that we were brought to Cedar City!

6. Five jobs I have had.

a. Birthed and raised my 10 babies, home schooling them since 1981.
b. Nursed daily for over 21 years and helped other women with baby issues.
c. Written several books and zillions of articles and letters helping families.
d. Developed and taught my own course on personal and family communication
e. Public speaker almost any chance I get and on just about any topic.

7. Five Random Things people don't usually know about me.

I'm about as open a book as is out there, especially since I help others through my stories, but here goes.
a. I'm highly uncomfortable being in the audience of any crowd, including and especially Relief Society and Sunday School. I thrive on speaking, teaching, or being in charge of that same crowd.
b. I feel entirely inadequate teaching other people's primary aged children. I completely love teaching their youthful siblings and adult parents.
c. I don't know what to do with a crying baby and nearly panic when faced with one. For 21 years, I put the sad ones to the breast. Big no-no now.
d. The hardest thing for me to do in the entire world is to pick up a phone and make a call. After 51 years of working on this, I can now do it for business reasons when nobody else will, to fight for my children, to keep in touch with long distance friends and family, and - no - that's about it.
e. I'm confident speaking and teaching in front of any sized crowd. But the minute I'm finished I want to run and hide from everybody, then later, rely on feedback from my family about if I made sense or was way to scattered to be worthwhile.

So, now I'm supposed to tag somebody and they have to do the same exercise. Isn't this like phone calling? I'll tag somebody I have no trouble calling, in fact, I often call her when I think I'm calling her dad!

Tag: Chamrie

Making Sense

It is a hard day for me. It's been a hard, emotional week, and for the most part, I'm not usually all that emotional. Some sort of undefined loss has hung over me. Last Thursday I cried when Neil went to play basketball. I just don't do that. I think I've told my daughters many times over the past little while how much I miss them. And I see them all of the time. I felt loss over Ben and Randee not visiting, and they, too, have visited several times. It makes no sense, but this sublte feeling of impending loss has been impossible to shake.

Today, I really cried. I sat alone in my room, tears streaming down my face, my heart breaking. No sense. No sense at all.

And then the date hit me. Today is the second anniversary of the night I held my mother in my arms, Chamrie singing softly, It's a Wonderful World, and Chiya sitting close, tenderly supportive. Holding her, the line between who was mother and who was child completely blurred, loving her, missing her already, whispering good-bye as my mother smiled softly and breathed her last.

My tears fall faster, my broken heart beats heavier, my awareness of the nearness of loss intensifies.

But now it makes sense.